Shughie Leather hears about all sorts

Sep 22 2010 by Shughie Leather, Airdrie & Coatbridge

SHUGHIE saw an auld fella oot running on Monday morning near West End Park in Coatbridge.

He was fair impressed at what seemed the chap’s rigorous keep-fit regime although a bit concerned about his welfare.

Ye’ve got to watch yourself at a certain age.

But that said, trying to stay fit no matter how old you are is a good thing.

So Shughie thought, well done, auld yin, as he saw him jog along Bank Street.

Then, Shughie noticed that he wasn’t oot for a jog at all. He was chasing his dug which had ran away intae the park.

Hopefully, he caught the runaway pooch and didn’t get too puffed oot.

SHUGHIE overheard a conversation in a well-known Airdrie chemist.

Two wee wifies oot for their messages asked a wummin they hadnae seen for a while how her mother was gettin’ on.

She had a heart attack, came the reply and she had an aneurysm last year as well, but other than that she’s all right..

Oh my god, Shughie thought, some folk have it awfy hard.

Then the conversation shifted.

And how are you, hen.

Aye, great she said, before revealing that it was her birthday and she was now single.

Ye’re better aff withoot men, she said in case the wee wifies were in any doubt.

That’s a bit harsh, Shughie thought, but happy birthday all the same, hen.

ONE of Shughie’s contacts is just back from Florida where she “enjoyed” the various theme parks at Disney World wi’ her man.

But apparently she was on her feet for too long, walking round the many attractions.

She was talking to Oor Tam who asked her if she had a good time.

A’ve done more miles than the Orange Lodge, she said.

WELL done tae aw the weans that took part in the Hospice Fun Run last weekend.

It was brilliant seeing young folk doing their bit for such a great cause.

Where would folk be without place like St Andrew’s? It disnae bear thinking about, says Shughie.

THE Man Wi’ The Bunnet had a wee laugh during a chat with one of his Caldercruix contacts about the drama there a couple of weeks ago.

A man the polis were after ran away naked through the village and into the woods, as ye do.

What dae ye make o’ that, said Shughie.

That’s just like a normal Friday night up here, came the reply.

YE don’t see many three-legged dugs aboot nowadays.

They seemed to be everywhere when Shughie was growing up.

That and dugs wearing lampshades tae stop them biting themselves.

The reason for saying is that Shughie saw a picture of Dyson the Staffy in last week’s Advertiser and thought it looked as if he only three legs.

Shughie also wondered if his name was really Dyson and maybe we had made a wee mistake.

I mean, would you name a dug after a hoover?

Shughie thought that maybe his name was Tyson and somebody had picked it up wrong.

So, in case ye wonder about these things, Shughie can tell ye that the dug has four legs and his name is Dyson.

SHUGHIE’S no’ squeamish about many things.

But snakes, spiders and rats gie him the creeps.

So when the Man Wi’ the Bunnet read oor story on page 11 about a Coatbridge wifey finding a snake in her hoose a shiver ran down his spine.

Apparently, it was an escaped pet from a neighbour’s house.

Why would ye keep such a thing as a pet?

Shughie has a relative wi’ a pet rat and as much as he loves his wee niece he’s never been in her hoose because of it.

Unless ye can cuddle it, it shouldnae be a pet, says Shughie.

Want to speak to Shughie? Call 01236 748648 or email acadvertiser@s-un.co.uk

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